There aren’t many places in the world that fill my heart with such joy as when passing the Baltic Sea from Estonia and approaching the Finnish archipelago. Finland! Home! The feeling gets even more intense, as I catch the train from Helsinki towards the North. I take a cup of freshly brewed coffee, a piece of the Finnish flagship chocolate by Fazer and set to enjoy the journey. The scenery that unfolds from the windows makes my heart sing. It alternates between rural fields, pine forests, lakes and quaint villages. I witness my co-patriots in their favourite summer hobbies: enjoying the lake sides in small wooden boats, fishing or dipping into the lake. There is an omnipresent tranquility in everything. My mind rests. Brussels’ energy and buzz fades away, as I dive deeper into the Finnish country side. We have six weeks of holidays ahead of us. It makes me smile.
I had made a silent wish for my holidays this summer to spend time with my parents, children and husband, enjoying the simple pleasures, such as walks in the forest and generally slowing down. At times, our wishes manifest in unexpected forms, or together with pain.
This time, out of blue, after a fun-filled day of birthday celebrations of my son, I found myself in the morning with strong pain in the abdomen. My father ( surgeon) made a diagnosis of appendicitis and drove me to the local hospital. I became a patient and entered the world of hospital protocols. Three hours at the local hospital with a second diagnosis of appendicitis followed by a one hour drive to the regional hospital. 7 hours waiting at the emergency unit, where nobody checked on my condition or asked how I was doing. I asked myself three times to see a doctor. After five hours I see a doctor, who - despite the previous two diagnosis - prefers to have a further analysis. I wait two more hours before getting a third diagnosis of appendicitis. He decides not to operate during the night, but see in the morning how I feel and strongly suggests to be treated by antibiotics only.
I was moved to the
Gastro unit.
At the end, I was operated 24 h after my father had made the initial diagnoses. I woke up the next morning and wrote to my parents to say I was expecting to get home soon. Understandably, I was speechless when the doctor told me I had an infection in my abdomen, had got the much feared peritonitis in my intestines and would have to stay in hospital to be treated further. How on earth did this happen? Under the controlled hospital procedures, where every party seemingly had made “their best decision with the information they had”? Questions were pouring in my mind. Did the doctor make a judgement error during the night not to operated ( in my mind absolutely yes!) Could I have done something different? Should I have complained more? Should I have come directly to the regional hospital? Should I have told everybody my family is full of surgeons? Would it have made any difference?
As I am writing this, as the universe works, the doctor who operated me just called me. The discussion was not very coherent. On one hand, she assured me that she would probably have made the same judgement call of not operating as her colleague during the night, based on the computer pictures. I asked her what then made her operate in the morning? She says different hospital traditions (within the same hospital roof? This is a clear management problem!). She again returns to assure me, that probably the appendicitis had already erupted before the computer pictures, but it is not always easy to see and it doesn’t show yet in the blood test. What to take from this discussion? I feel she was calling to cover her back and avoid a complaint.
Three weeks after the operation, the pain of operation is disappeared, the swelling in my abdomen gone and the scars fading away. I am happy to be back on my feet and available for my family. Personally, it was a strong incident and set my life upside-down for a moment. I think many would say these kinds of experiences are “good for you”. Facing your own vulnerability forces you to re-evaluate your whole being. I feel I have started a new journey.
I am ever grateful for my parents and husband who took care of my little tribu during my absence. Thank you for giving me the time to heal and regain my strenth❤️
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