Our loss

We took a walk today afternoon with my son to get some fresh air amids a working and home schooling. My son wants to discuss about death. He wants to know what happens after a person dies. Our family has so far been saved from loss, god bless us. I wonder were his questions come from. He is intreaged with the concept of soul going to heaven and body being only the shell of a person passing away and being buried. A few hours later, we have had dinner and all four children are dancing in the living room. The door bell rings, it is a neighbour with her little girl picking up a lost ear ring. I hear my husband greet her at the door. Suddenly, I realize they are all screaming. Kids run outside. "The fox!!!" they are yelling. We all run outside and have to witness the unimaginable horror I would have never hoped my children had to witness: we find our dearly beloved pet rabbits dead. The fox had accessed the protected area and followed his instinct of a predator. I feel terrible, empty sadness. We are all crying. My husband brings Toffee inside, she is still alive. We call the veterinary. As my husband discusses with the doctor, I kneel down next to Toffee. Our favorite little rabbit, so beautiful and intelligent one with an incredible memory. I stroke her white soft fur gently, she has eyes open and she looks peaceful. I pray to bless her and not having to suffer. As I pray for her, she passess away. My husband burries both of them in our garden. We go outside with the kids and send them away with prayers. We thank them for having joined our family for two years and for the joy they brought to all of us. My son waives in the sky, in heaven, and claims he saw Toffee wink him back. In the evening it is difficult to calm down, for all of us. We talk about death, about the goodness of heaven and try to visualise Choco and Toffee happily eating carrots and playing in there. We talk about the fox too. It is not bad, although difficult to accept,but part of the cruelty of nature. My eldest daughter believes the immense sadness we feel at the moment, will be compensated with as huge amount of happiness, because there is balance in the universe. I am utterly impressed by her wisdom at this difficult moment. At the height of her 11 years, she has been the main guardian of the rabbits and most attached to them. I feel so sorry for her loss. I wish I could have protected her. I don't know why this happened and if it had to happen, why in this most cruel way. Why could it not have happened while we were away, or at least when the kids were at school. We could have prepared them for the loss. Now, they had to see it in their own eyes, witness the panic, our uncontrolled emotions of the moment, all the brutality. I told my children we are all allowed to take time to mourn. They can talk about it whenever, write about their feelings or draw about their emotions. I promise them everyday the pain will fade away a bit. I assure them we will get through this together and they will become stronger. Rest in peace Choco and Toffee. "You will alway stay in our hearts", as my son beautifully stated.