From the shadows emerges love

I feel a sudden burst of unconditional love vibrating from my heart in this golden sun-lit Friday, while leaving behind an extremely busy week of work, children's school work, extracullicular activities, birthdays to remember, on-going renovation works, the meal and housekeeping cores and on the top of that some other unexpected clutter, which fills our busy days, minds and keeps us - from my perspective - in an almost 24h operational mode. We have been pushing on with my husband through the pandemic like work horses, not opposing nor resisting, with the ever-optimistic hope there will be a moment of recompensation or rest at one point. I believe in a universal balance, of tough periods in life being followed by more sereine times. Having left behind the competition preparation just a week ago, we have had hardly a moment to breath when we got bad news yesterday needing an important amount of work from both of us. I told my husband I felt unfair, the "sereine period" was a way too short to be able to nourish us sufficiantly to face the next challenges. And there, from these deep feelings of being abandoned in our daily struggles just yesterday, I am alerted today to this extreme intense feelings of gratitude, towards my children and husband, towards all that surrounds us: being healthy, having each other, our beautiful house and surroundings. I feel an urge to write a love letter, to each and everyone, hence this post today.

EU craze

I recall precisely the moment that the notion of European union institutions and Brussels swirreled through my consciousness: June 2002, plage de voilier, Nice Cote d'Azur. I have just stepped down from Promenade des Anglais and heading with my Finnish trainee friends towards the crowds - looks like a beach party! A group of young universitaires approach us and proudly offer us their 1 euro budget "shampagne". We accept gladly. An extremely tanned young man with bright blue eyes appraches me with a smile. He smells a bit like the bottle he is carrying. Next, before I take a breath, he starts an enthousiastic presentation of himself with an exceptional speed and charming accent in his Finnish. The speech takes a tad longer than perhaps is appropriate, but I am mesmeraised by its impressiveness - wow! a traineeship at one of the EU institutions in Brussels!In an EU institution! I was hooked, I wanted to know more. 19 years later, Friday evening, I sit comfortably in the sofa, holding a glass of red vintage Bordeaux. My kids are upstairs, supposingly turning in. The tanned young man enjoying his sauna. I am celebrating my future success. I have yesterday completed the 3rd phase of an open eu competition, a process that started more than 2 years ago, or, in all honesty, 19 years ago. Many times, I have wished I would have never heard of Brussels. Life would definitely have been much more sereine in a smaller setting than in this driven business hub with probably the highest concentration of the european careerists. Without a doubt, life in Brussels is tough. For me, twenties went by studying and trying to find your spot with no connections, thirties working and raising a family with no network. It just shows the level of priviledged surroundings I come from, but it came as a complete shock the amount of work hours one has to put in to get by. SO, after years of systematic and disciplined (audit terminology!) training, attendance to numerous trainings and coachings, having carried books to most of our holidays in the past two years and studied hundrads of hours - here I am ready to turn a page. I am done. Regardless of the outcome. I am proud of myself, but I wish badly it was year 2004. God bless me.