Looking in the past

Reading my old blog posts is a fascinating experience, even a therapeutic one. You meet your (younger) self again. Some posts make you want to take them out, some make you realize you should probably regain some forgotten qualities and attitudes.

This is an ideal moment for soul-searching: having started maternity leave (yes, the fourth and final baby is arriving in less than a month) and having some time for myself.

First reflection: Humor seem to have kept the bumps of life in perspective. The everyday tralala with 8-, 5- and 2-year olds is full of small drama. Managing it can be entertaining, rewarding, many times exhausting. I have considered the critical qualities to master this would include anticipation, creativity and patience. For some reason, somewhere between cleaning the broken glass from the floor, forbidding the one in potty training not to put fingers in 'it' while helping another to create a meaningful framework for life (why does God exist..?) I have forgotten one valuable attribute my younger self remembered: smile more.

Second reflection: Don't sweat the small things. I read my emotion-filled experiences with my first daughter over her eating habits. Well, having gone through now three toddlers identity affirmation periods (NO to served food being one of the most common means to define their boundaries), I try no longer make so much fuzz about unfinished plates, means of transport (bike, car or trotter, as long as they move forward), dress code (summer dress is OK as long as there are layers underneath) or trying to get all family members out for a walk. For my own sake, I need to be selective of my battles.

Third reflection: my husband has grown into a Star father ! The fourth baby on the way has truly set him to the highest gear and while keeping a demanding full-time job he is present with the kids in the evenings and helping at home where ever needed. I should compliment him more often. Looking around, I am happy to witness other large families, where fathers have prioritized their family first (and probably this has also been the pre-condition for smart women to agree to the 3rd and 4th baby..).

I have just finished a Christmas gift on how to grow children the Dutch way. Quite inspiring and thought-provoking ideas contrasting the competitive Anglo-American way to raise children with the more relaxed Dutch approach, where the latter apparently results in happier (and yet as highly performing) kids.  But more about this later.