Gratitude in my heart

It is difficult to believe a year has passed since I strolled the narrow streets of this idyllic French village with my new born. At the time, we were living truly tough moments with my little baby boy. At hardly 4-weeks we were already travelling, despite the health problems we both had. The nights were at the time long and days hazy with the fatigue. However the old town had something healing over us and offered a much-needed nurturing and peacefulness in to my heart. I recall sitting in the bench opposite to the pharmacy as my husband was relentlessly searching for yet another help for the white nights (probably the french equivalent to colic-relief!). The empatic looks of the elderly as they witnessed us in our vulnerability. I still feel my heart melting going back to those memories. I think this place will always stay special for us. The first destination for my amazingly cute little boy, already 13 months now! The baby year went quicker than ever before. I feel ever-grateful for having had the opportunity to share those days in full presence for my baby and my family. The long soothing walks to Stockel as my baby finally fell asleep. It was a tough year too. Many challenges to manage in the business of the daily routines of an XXL family. I am grateful for my husband's courage, perseverance and patience with it all. I am grateful for the siblings smiles and energy and helping littles hands in everything. I am grateful for having the clarity now on the next steps to take, balancing between the family, work and my own interest. I thought I had a dream, and during the year, after reflecting on the idea from all sides, concluded it was not my dream or the time was not yet right for that dream. I have achieved a role, a career to follow now, which is a great one, and will help to provide for our family. I hope it will offer the best we have in terms of our resources: whether in presence or financially. But mostly, I am grateful for the guidance I now receive in my path, making choices eminate from my heart and feeling great gratitude for all we have.

My baby boy turns 10 years !

Our wonderful first week of holidays was culminating yesterday to Elias's birthdays - full 10 years!! We all remember so well his 5th birthday in Sarzeau, our first summer to discover the Atlantique coast (where we have since returned every summer!). We had carefully planned the day well in advance. Thoughtfully selected gifts (kite, lego-set, underwater camera) brought from home, cake prepared the previous day (gâteau au yaourt au chocolat avec des m&m) and a superb programme planned for the day. We enjoyed the thrills of singing, enjoying the croissants and cake, and opening the gifts. He was so very happy about everything! The morning became a bit busy as the kids were registered for their very first regatta. What a great experience for them and sense of achievement to win their medals, bags of candy and receive applauds in the sun! At Elias's wish we had reserved the very first crêperie outing to celebrate his big day and we enjoyed delicious lunch in a small crêperie close to the château in the old town. The afternoon we spent at the "Grand plage" of a near-by village and Elias got to try his new kite. What a power in such a small kite as it almost blew him away! I believe his plan is to practice for kite surfing😊 In the evening we headed to the "marche nocturne" in the harbour. Elias was so pleased. He wanted to walk next to me, kept hugging me and repeating how perfect day it had been. My amazing baby boy. We had eyed an open air cinema for the late evening, but as it started to rain we promised to move it indoors home cinema party. And so we did, at 10pm still throwing a pyjama party with chips, kids bubbles, cake and watching together an episode of Survivals 🥰. We were all so tired and happy after such a day full of activities! A perfect birthday for a perfect little dear boy of ours ! All of us including baby Eliot slept deeply the night despite the thunder storm raging around us! Feeling very blessed having these wonderful little beings with us. Thank you.

Back to beautiful France

The first week of our 7 -week long summet holidays is behind! We are back to beautiful Pornic, our favorite place in France. The trip was long and the holiday house had reserved some unpleasent surprises (momified pizza in the oven, insects, d-u-s-t, and no wifi), but once these were sorted out with the landlord we dove surprisingly quickly to our holiday mode à la française! For children, this means long afternoons at the beach, where the big ones can walk by themselves, catamaran stages with new friends and evening walks in the old-town prized with a gaufre à la sucre or an ice-cream at the Fraiserie. For us, it means long walks to in the old town, popping-in to art galleries, visiting markets and attending the Sunday messe. For us, the city has all we can wish for: family friendly, safety, beautiful beach and walking trails, the castle and its old church, the markets..and the friendly people. The first night our friendly neighbour came to help us with unloading the car and tonight we were invited for "an apero" at his place. Every mornibg he has popped in to check if all is ok, bring a paper or little bouquet of flowers. This elderly man truly warms our heart by his interest to us the "foreigners" and brings a welcome balance to the dynamics of the kids when the tensions rise. Thank you Jean, thank you beautiful idyylic Pornic for welcoming us back. Perhaps we will find here our holiday haven we are secretly dreaming of.

My baby turns 15!

I still have difficulties in realizing (or accepting?)that my baby girl is 15! We have just cleared the house from a bunch of beautiful, rosy and noisy (!) teen-age girls. In they came with their wonderful girl energy, setting the table full of goodies, hanging the pink guirland and 15 balloons for perfect photoshoots and indulging with the piece-of-art cake my daughter had baked her-self. We had worked on the background with my hussy husband for the success of her afternoon by doing the carefully selected shoppings, clearing the livingroom and organizing activities for the little siblings. We were both impressed by the joy and spontaneity of this international group of young women. The few Finnish girls invited seemed to be as well 😁 Looking at my girl with her friends I realized she is really more european than finnish or estonian which is reflected by her group: her friends were mostly French-speaking, a collection of intelligent and fun persons from the various school classes, swimming team and so forth. It was so wonderful to see her happy surrounded by her friends! The celebration started already last WE when I took her to a surprise pampering trip to Helsinki. We stayed at her god-mother who arranged everything a girl can hope for: from shopping to indoor skydiving and home made chocolate mousse cake! Admittedly, turning 15 festivities were spectacular and set the standards high for turning 18..Happy birthday our love!

Downhill with the little lost croackroch

I seriously should keep my "happiness highs" to myself, as every time I verbalise them it seems I am paying heavily.. 12-hours into my husband having departed for a 4-day business trip abroad the following events started to unfold: a crockrauch-like insect found in the staircase creating havoc among the sensitives (including especially myself), a clogged toilet, the babysitter whom I had interviewed carefully weeks ahead cancelled 1 h prior starting her 4day pest, ladybird invasion in the kids bedroom (what's with the insects??) and the cherry on the cake as I was almost breathing normally while showering my little ones at 8 pm..head lices (really)..!! As a result, the next 3 hours or so I was running between stairs pouring or rinsing one of the four heads (my sons were saved, but not myself) and breastfeeding the baby who of course woke up as something clearly interesting was taking place. Followed by the change of bedding of the four beds, vacuuming the ladybirds, unclogging the toilet, spraying vinagre on humid areas in the house and sterilising hair items, I started the washing marathon of bed sheets, coats, doudous.. Clearly, just "hanging out" by myself with our 5 kids including a baby with the "normal" school week routines of picnic preps, schoolbus runs, activities and doctor appointments and what not would have been utterly deadly boring. Bring it on for the spring NY business trip, mama can take it 😂

The ordinary extraordinary weekend

Just when you start questioning the concept of limitless energy, one single weekend can make a transformation. I have been poured with love and inspiration unexpected in the past 48h that I feel almost overwhelmed..My teenager unconsciously caressing my hair in the morning while waiting for the school bus, my 9-year old son waking at the dawn to prepare the family a Sunday breakfast with a special attention to Mom's seating with all my favorite trimmings, my number 2 hugging me spontaneusly of happiness as I found her lost school book or the hairdresser quoting my 6-year old for her "Favorite Princess" being Mom.. Even without the white nights, these moments bring tears to my eyes and fill my heart with joy and love beyond words. They are my fuel. Furthermore, our community, which we have perceived for so.. uninclusive, finally opened its arms.. This weekend we joined our neigbours for helping at the community garden, to plant fruit trees, bake bread, donate clothes..and I realise the shift away from the "expectant receiver" (too harsh expression but difficult to find a better one) to an "actor" makes all the dramatic difference. And without the expectation - the universe pours all back 10-fold.. I feel blessed and grateful for us being part.

September Craze

So the one concrete difference in managing life with five kids is undeniable: I have less time. Less time translates in no time for private dinners with my husband, meeting friends, starting a jogging routine not to even dream about reading or having the mind space for creative writing! This is even more evident in this particular month of September which represents new beginnings in so many forms: 1st grade primary school for nb 4, 1st secondary for nb 2, B-tests for number 1, organisation of the baptism for nb 5. Not to mention the re-launch of activities, playdates and birthdays following the long summer break. How do we manage then with my husband? New distribution of tasks. We had four parents meetings to attend during the week of preparing for the bapteme - for the first time in 12 years I delegated this honoir to my husband (and he did well!). I took on the visits to the pediatre, ONE, baby massages, coordination with support teachers, supervising homework and organising the bapteme:accomodation, menus, contacts with the church, gifts, clothes etc. And caring for the little man who is (rightly) hungry 10 times per day. Regardless of the (mind me bragging) well-established planning for the start of the school year I have been out of breath in most days without even -as mentioned earlier- glanzing over my running shoes. On the other hand, I have got to spend wonderful nights and early mornings getting to know this new wonderful person who chose to join our family. His smile enlightens all of us and brings instant joy to our days. Fortunately the children are oblivious to the above craziness of parents and are seemingly happy to find their friends, hobbies and school routines. The favorite moment of my day is to have all my kids around the table for their gouter, to hear their enthousiasm over their day reporting of any incidents during the bus trip, mishaps of friends (or teachers!) or illnesses.. If I could bottle these little exclusive moments! The baby is often present feeding during these moments, however my mind, presence and attention is with my other kids. With these early morning thoughts I leave September behind on to welcome smooth tender October 🥰