Mission ZENITUDE

It was precisely four days earlier, when I was sitting comfortably on our canapé having a quiet "ladies" evening with an old friend of mine. We were discussing about the ups and downs of each of our lives and congratulating ourselves how well we still manage our busy schedules. I even reached to make an explicit and proud distinction of being extremely busy - but not stressed. The fine line between control - and havoc.

It was precisely four days later, when I am sitting in a car, late in the afternoon in a pouring rain, 60 km and 40 min. drive (on a weekday) away from home, but most importantly - from the kindergarten. I had wanted to leave at 16:00, to be at the kindergarten at 17:00 pm. It is 17:00 pm. I call the kindergarten warning I will be there in around 45 min. I am never late from picking up my daughter. Ever. It breaks my heart just the thought of her being the last one, waiting 12 times at the door if it is her mommy this time..And I have so far managed to keep this promise. But today the planning just went wrong from the beginning.

The nurses in the home hospital didn't know how to fix my husband’s bandage, so we left 45 min. late to the other city's hospital. He was a wreck worrying how he would cope the drive without his "pump" - he had 2 hours time limit to get to the other hospital and attach "the pump" back. Everything was arranged, and the personnel in the other hospital were waiting us. We arrive in the hospital with15 min. lead time. There is no machine, the person in charge has left home, nobody knows what to do. It is 16:45 - I have to leave. I feel terrible leaving him there alone.

17:20 - i am not even outside the city. I see kilometres of red car lights in five lanes in front of me. I try to listen to music, only traffic info on accidents, as if I didn't know. I call the kindergarten and warn I may be late, hopefully there before 6 pm. I ask what time does it close, 18:15. Ok. 17 40 - I see no progress. I call my sister and express (poor her ) all the cursing words I know in three languages in a one long phrase and close the call. 17:55 - the traffic eases and I drive in gear 6. Could it be that I make it to 18:15? I call to the kindergarten to say I just may make it. 18:15 I arrive to the boarders of home city. Enter the tunnel. What is this..No, NO, NOOO!! I hit the home city's evening traffic..

45 min. and 4 phone calls later I arrive to the kindergarten. It is 19:15. The kindergarten has closed one hour ago, even the school is closed. The security is waiting me with looks full of despise. I run to the familiar section, and find my little daughter. She is wearing her shoes and her skiing hat and looks so happy to see me. I promise to bribe the young lady who stayed with her.

We drove home and I explained everything to my girl. She listened and smiled- we were friends again. We ate hot oatmeal and warm milk for supper, giggled in bathroom and went to bed. I called my husband to ask how he was - they had found his "Pump", he was OK. I told him everything was fine, we were safe at home. I closed my eyes thinking: Life under control, no havoc, was it so?

No Oktober Fest (this year either)

Dearest Friends, many of you know that life has taken a side turn in my little family compound, and I therefore cannot with open heart celebrate with you the first year anniversary of my blog. I will still try to share some positive thoughts since my husband's accident one month ago.

Many are asking how are we coping? I don't really know. But so far we are. It seems the cliché saying of "extreme situations trigger tremendous energy reserves" can be part of the explanation. I have found within myself military-like organisational skills and many positive things have appeared in our lives:
- We get to enjoy lunch together  with my husband on daily bases as I have arranged to work from home. (ok I cook the meal, but it does not diminish the value..)
- We get to spend 1 hour more with my daughter every day as I take her to and from the kindergarten.
- I get my regular sport sessions, as I now know that the only time to do this is in the morning between 6 - 7 am.
- I have discovered the wonders of online grocery shopping with home delivery (why haven't we done this before??)
- I have discovered that washing windows, cars, getting fuel, mowing the lawn, cleaning the front yard all only take 30 min.each  max. So no excuse not to do them.
- I have (almost) stopped watching American movies and thanks to this have taken a jump-start in my studies - 10 creadits in one month (!)

Most importantly, I have discovered how many genuinely caring people we are fortuned to have around us. The neighbours who just brought hot soup to us, the colleague who drove my husband from the clinic, the friend who brought the mail to us at home or the other one who came help us bring the tools to garage. And the many others who regularly call us, send messages or come for a visit. It really lightens the days and help my husband to get better. Thank you so much! We love you too :) ! 

Conditioning

I could not quite believe my ears, when I caught my husband talking to our daughter the other day. It went something like this: "Oh, that's great honey, for a girl, you throw the ball better than most 1st graders!"

'FOR A GIRL?!!"What the heck! I had to bite my tongue for not starting my lection in front of my toddler on  Sovinism, Gender conditioning and Self -esteem. But Oh Boy, I can tell you it hurt my soul raised by a league of four super women and brainwashed with the silly belief that girls CAN actually do anything. (Another debate is whether it is always convenient for them to do everything they could ;))

So in the evening I had to say something. I was seriously concerned my husband would repeat a similar lapsus with serious consequences on our daughter's outlook in life and in her positioning in this world. He raised his eye brows in puzzlement challenging me to have a moment of self-reflection myself, starting with an inventory on our daughters wardrobe. He was the one supporting gender conditioning?

Hmph. Okey, there is no denial my daughter's wardrobe and selection of toys are somewhat biased. 97% of clothes are pink, light pink or in purple shades. She has her own little purse, sun glasses and baby trotter. She loves to watch and smile at her-self in the mirror, put cream on her face, brush hair and use hair wax. She's hardly 20 months old!

I tried the DNA hardcoded Gender preference card, but he didn't buy it. Admittedly my husband won this match: we'll go get the racing car he tried to convince me to buy last Saturday. And we both promised to watch ourself in the future. 

Neighborhood peace pact

Some claim it is difficult to make friends in this busy international home city of ours so full of people constantly under move arriving or leaving or somewhere in between. A few years ago I may have agreed: we had lived over five years in the same apartment and knew the lady next door barely by name. This is not to say it was entirely of the ladies fault though - we actively contributed in the comfortable arrangement of living in quasi-anonymity. 

Not surprisingly, when you become a house owner this is no longer possible. And in this case,  it is mainly thanks to our pro-active neighbourhood. 

There is the "Couple of  House 22'"' - the leaders of the corner - a lovely pensionary couple with impeccable front yard and regular visits to Sunday church. During the very first week after our move they brought the timetable of rubbish collection, said I can borrow sugar any time and immediately won our hearts over.

There is the 'Swiss Marine" with a nice twist in his eyes, who spends the majority of the year in the Sea resulting in an (eternally) ongoing  renovation works. As we share the same interest we've become active swappers of tools, tips or - as today - tons of sand moving from one yard to the other. Very practical indeed.

There is the "Jaguar Man" from the opposite street, with a splendid green coupe sports car, a spotless front yard and nobly low profile. He is the type who wears suspenders and a stripy bow tie in dinner parties, (hardly) greets you across the street with a disdained (?) look, BUT to my delight he has a wife of his own age! Indeed, this little fact only warms my heart to even consider any future approximation of our families relations. To be seen. 

I will conclude the description of our neighbourhood by our next door neighbour "The Granny with The Dog" or as my daughter says "Mummo-hau-hau-hau". She is a peculiar old little woman living in a big big house next door (almost) alone with a very disturbed dog. We have been extremely understanding shutting-up after  numerous white nights of baby feeding and yet waking-up 6 am when The Dog is barking under our window. And of course, it's not the dog's fault, who has by the way apparently been under 30 hours of training with no imminent results.. This is the little woman's fault who doesn't feel like stretching her legs in the morning and taking the dog out for a walk like all the other normal dog owners in the neighbourhood. So far, however, we've maintained amical relations. 

Until yesterday. My husband was working in the front yard using a construction machine, which made admittedly a little bit noise (and trembling), but only for 30 min. stretches. And the lady came out yelling. I couldn't believe my ears! After all the times we had stayed in furious silence and now this one day of small inconvenience triggers such a reaction..So I went out and told the lady calmly but convincingly two simple phrases. 

The Lady smiled drily, went back in and we haven't heard from her since. Her dog still barks in the mornings and we keep beeing occasionally noisy. So nothing seems to have changed and yet everything has changed, because now there is a mutual understanding of the Neighbourhood Peace Pact: The Neighbour Love is Conditional. We tolerate your crap if you tolerate ours :) 

Receipy for happiness

I am in the middle of my holiday reading of 'The Monk who Sold His Ferrari". Sounds a Catchy, New Agesh and extensively American..? Those were my exact thoughts as well! However, given my good will thanks to holidayed and relaxed mind I gave it a chance.. and to my great delight every page has contained some inspiring thoughts for increasing happiness..

 I look around and am so very proud to recognize that many people around me have already figured it all out..

My daughter's delight in learning to place a cork on a bottle..My parents happiness over their newly bought and renovated "vinyard"..My sister's enthusiasm over her fresh start-up..My husband's proudness over recently finished garden terraces..

So much positive energy and happiness they all have! They also share a common strategy: they've set clear objectives, believed it will work-out, but also (and most importantly) worked very hard to achieve their dreams..

So very simple and yet..

Sivananda cookies

Dearest,

My intention is not to start practicing recipe swapping, but merely to share the below Exceptionally Savoury Treats for your taste buds recommended highly by my little sister from Mexico. They were test-driven yesterday and seem to work also without attending the yoga class first. 

For other gourmand yet healthy recipes you should check the "Yoga Cook book: Vegetarian food for Body and Mind" by the Sivanda Yoga center. 

SIVANANDA COOKIES

These large, energy-packed cookies are a standard after-class treat at most Sivanada Yoga Centres around the world. They are very nutritious and make a meal in themselves.

250 g rolled oat

100 g  wholewheat flour

150 g brown sugar

50 g raw unsalted peanuts

1,5 teaspoons ground cinnamon

1,5 teaspoons ground ginger

0,5 teaspoons freshly grated nutmeg

0,5 teaspoons baking pow

200 ml oil

about 200 ml (less!!) water

50 g raisins or sultanas

1 dl sunflower seeds

0.5 dl almonds (grounded)

Preheat the oven to 200. Oil 2 or 3 baking sheets. Combine the dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl, add the oil and mix thoroughly. Stir in enough water to make a firm mixture.

Take a spoonful of mixture, about the size of a ping-pong ball. Roll it into a ball, place on one of the oiled baking sheets and flatten to a round about 10 cm in diameter. Repeat to make 12 cookies. Bake in the oven for 12-15 minutes, until golden at the edges. Cool on a wire rack.

Use sunflower seeds, roughly chopped almonds and/or desiccated coconut instead of, or as well as, the unsalted peanut

Be assured Your Body will Thank you :) 

Nothing but the truth

I am a woman of principles, and as most women of principles I don't mind (at all) sharing them in abundance with my surroundings. Furthermore, I have come to realize yet again how incredibly difficult it is to "Walk-my-Talk" - whether at work, educating my daughter (and husband) and especially myself.. Besides, there's no question that motherhood is an ideal trap for some major hypocrisies to get ground.

One way Not to walk-the-talk is to do it Silently. In this case nobody actually remembers your once vocalized principles and you're the only fortunate witness of the hypocrisy taking place. The result should be an emotion of at least minimum remorse (rarely the case) and a promise of a future re-orientation. 

More uncomfortable is the situation, where you have clearly vocalized your principles, you've broken your own rules AND your audience recognizes this. This creates a feeling of shame, multiplied by eternity in case the witness is your own children. Then it is your credibility as a Parent at stake. 

Therefore I decided to take a stance and have a moment of honest auto reflection.

-I am not eating two warm meals per day myself and do snack in between meals. I even drink coffee taking immense pleasure out of it not to mention finishing the cookie dough bowls. With fingers.
-I too have bad days and feel like crying my mind out just because it does make me feel better, especially if I have an attentive audience :)
-I also enjoy discovering new places and trying out new things even though somebody wise tells me to be careful and not to touch and taste everything. Where's the fun otherwise!
-I too have mornings when I want to sleep-in, stay in my pyjama and continue to tell stories to Mr. Paddington.
-I too get mad if a colleague steels my ideas and presents them as his own. I will be pissed-off and do not want to share my toys either.
-I too utterly hate when weekends end, holidays end, chocolate cake ends..

Sometimes Mommies DO eat their own words.