The healing power of Finland

There aren’t many places in the world that fill my heart with such joy as when passing the Baltic Sea from Estonia and approaching the Finnish archipelago. Finland! Home! The feeling gets even more intense, as I catch the train from Helsinki towards the North. I take a cup of freshly brewed coffee, a piece of the Finnish flagship chocolate by Fazer and set to enjoy the journey. The scenery that unfolds from the windows makes my heart sing. It alternates between rural fields, pine forests, lakes and quaint villages. I witness my co-patriots in their favourite summer hobbies: enjoying the lake sides in small wooden boats, fishing or dipping into the lake. There is an omnipresent tranquility in everything. My mind rests. Brussels’ energy and buzz fades away, as I dive deeper into the Finnish country side. We have six weeks of holidays ahead of us. It makes me smile.

I had made a silent wish for my holidays this summer to spend time with my parents, children and husband, enjoying the simple pleasures, such as walks in the forest and generally slowing down. At times, our wishes manifest in unexpected forms, or together with pain.

This time, out of blue, after a fun-filled day of birthday celebrations of my son, I found myself in the morning with strong pain in the abdomen. My father ( surgeon) made a diagnosis of appendicitis and drove me to the local hospital. I became a patient and entered the world of hospital protocols. Three hours at the local hospital with a second diagnosis  of appendicitis followed by a one hour drive to the regional hospital. 7 hours waiting at the emergency unit, where nobody checked on my condition or asked how I was doing. I asked myself three times to see a doctor. After five hours I see a doctor, who - despite the previous two diagnosis - prefers to have a further analysis. I wait two more hours before getting a third diagnosis of appendicitis. He decides not to operate during the night, but see in the morning how I feel and strongly suggests to be treated by antibiotics only. I was moved to the
Gastro unit.

At the end, I was operated 24 h after my father had made the initial diagnoses. I woke up the next morning and wrote to my parents to say I was expecting to get home soon. Understandably, I was speechless when the doctor told me I had an infection in my abdomen, had got the much feared peritonitis in my intestines and would have to stay in hospital to be treated further. How on earth did this happen? Under the controlled hospital procedures, where every party seemingly had made “their best decision with the information they had”? Questions were pouring in my mind. Did the doctor make a judgement error during the night not to operated ( in my mind absolutely yes!) Could I have done something different? Should I have complained more? Should I have come directly to the regional hospital? Should I have told everybody my family is full of surgeons? Would it have made any difference?

As I am writing this, as the universe works, the doctor who operated me just called me. The discussion was not very coherent. On one hand, she assured me that she would probably have made the same judgement call of not operating as her colleague during the night, based on the computer pictures. I asked her what then made her operate in the morning? She says different hospital traditions (within the same hospital roof? This is a clear management problem!). She again returns to assure me, that probably the appendicitis had already erupted before the computer pictures, but it is not always easy to see and it doesn’t show yet in the blood test. What to take from this discussion? I feel she was calling to cover her back and avoid a complaint.

Three weeks after the operation, the pain of operation is disappeared, the swelling in my abdomen gone and the scars fading away. I am happy to be back on my feet and available for my family. Personally, it was a strong incident and set my life upside-down for a moment. I think many would say these kinds of experiences are “good for you”. Facing your own vulnerability forces you to re-evaluate your whole being. I feel I have started a new journey.

I am ever grateful for my parents and husband who took care of my little tribu during my absence. Thank you for giving me the time to heal and regain my strenth❤️

Thank you love

Words aren’t enough to express my gratitude to my husband and family for the amazing birthday they orchestrated. With so much thought and love. The months of May and June were filled with visiting amazing places and spending time with people I so appreciate. I feel almost overwhelmed. We spent an amazing long weekend in France visiting the Monet gardens in Giverny and friends in Orleans. My husband knows I love Monet. He was well prepared and had come up with a truly creative concept. During the preceding week, he had invited an art teacher at home to teach the kids ( and himself) about impressionism, Monet and how to paint the famous Water lilies or ‘Nenufares’ as they are called in French. As part of my gift, I was given these moving pieces of art, so well representing each of my child’s (and my husband’s) character, temperament and inner life. They had gotten the freedom to choose themselves the colour palette for their pieces of work and consequently the schemes varied from flashy autumnal orange tones (my son), through springy pastels (my middle daughter) to ripe summery greens (my eldest and my husband). With this, the visit to the gardens had a context and meaningfulness to the little ones and they were truly impressed while standing on the Japanese bridge and admiring the beautiful setting from the paintings.
We had woken up after a long evening of driving in an cute gite close to Giverny where the day started very French: my husband took the kids to an early adventure to search for a Boulanger. And yes, they came back with divine freshly baked croissants and pain au chocolates. The kids were over the moon for this special treat! And the gifts. I got a unique gift from each of them, beautiful and tastefully chosen. And as if I was not already overwhelmed by emotion, I got two beautiful love letters, one from my husband and one from my eldest daughter. I will keep them in my heart forever.

We left Giverny and headed towards the beautiful valley of Loire, and our friends house in Orleans. What an immersion to the best of French Joie de vivre! Visits to the idyllic old tow of Orleans and walks by the lush and green river side, delicious food and wine, long evenings enjoying the early summer’s warmth..
The trip was parfume to all my senses: the aesthetics in the gardens, the warmth of our friends hosting and most importantly, the deep love from my husband and children. I am ever grateful.

P.s My husband got clearly bitten by the ‘joie de vivre’ bug. Last night, our romantic dinner for two turned into a surprise dinner party with our closest friends and neighbours! And I was delivered a speech from him together with a collage of my childhood pictures and reasons why he loves me ❤️ I think he (rightly) considers his birthday contributions are now done for the next decade😀

Almost 40

” I don’t need two more years as in the movie, I am there” I am thinking three days before my big birthday. Since weeks I have felt the excitement in our house, the secrets whispered, my husband’s apparent contentment of himself in organising something special. I started my celebration two weeks ago by leaving the family and hopping into Eurostar to spend the weekend with two good friends. It was wonderful. I was exhausted of the week, tired of the organisation of the WE, but it was worth it. To feel a bit freedom that I haven’t felt for years. We did everything we cannot do with small children: museums, art galleries, musical, excellent restaurants..dancing in the evening, long walks and conversations. I loved it. And want some more, regularly. Our everyday life is super hectic at home. Kids are now 9, 6, 3 and 1. It looks a bit frightening even just writing it. We are super well organised with my husband though ( yes, learning to give credit to own achievements) and the kids are thriving. For a reason too, we invest a lot in them: in time spent together and money. Holidays are planned according to their needs, their can satisfy their individual needs in hobbies, whether it be music, tennis, swimming or dance (except no dog for the moment..) . We feed them with healthy fresh food, take them outdoors to stay fit and invite friends to play dates. As most parents fortunately do. We don’t get much support from our families, but get a lot of credit from our surroundings, friends and even strangers in the streets. Many wonder how do we manage with a big family abroad with little help and both parents working? For one, we are very hardworking people  😃 We know how to prioritise and use time efficiently. We know when to put personal interests at a distance. We take care of each other and our marriage. We take time every Saturday to go out to theatre or dinner. We plan for future and talk about nothing and everything. These evenings are so important. They remind us of not being project partner or room mates, but of the fact that we have something bigger going on. We have active social life,  love our neighbours who have become friends with similar baggage to carry. The kids energise us and poor us with love. If only I could bottle the positive energy  of each of them to share with people in need! They would hear the excitement of my son having found some big fat snails in the morning at the terrace, or the happiness of my daughter after sleepover at her best friends house or of the incredible song of Ariana Grande and the latest trends of summer fashion (large flower print pants of course). We hear who put blue paint in his hair, who is cool at class, who is going on holiday and who threw up. I am asked if I saw any rabbits during my morning jog, if we will get a dog, or a guinea pig. Of course we hear  also of whining not to play piano, put leggings on or go to school. I don’t have a minute to myself before 21:00, cannot have an uninterrupted conversation with an adult or privacy in the toilet. But this is it, our life, at this moment and I would not change anything of it. At the eve of my big birthday, I have never felt more blessed. Thank you.

Our non-holiday in Tenerife

It is Monday morning after the Toussaint holidays. I should feel a slight fatigue after traveling, full of positive energy from new experiences, delicious Southern food and blissful sun. Except that I am not feeling any of those. Thank you Aviapartners strike, our planned trip to Tenerife never happened. Having packed for days, conducted several visits to various stores and attic to gather summer clothes in right sizes for all kids we arrive to the airport on time and end up spending the whole afternoon 5 h waiting news whether we could fly or not. At one point we are sent home (since we have four kids including a 6 month old baby) and are told we would be contacted in the following morning about the flight, which would likely leave from Charleroi airport. Our kids were really superstars. We took them for huge crepes and ice cream and headed home for an early sleep. By the next morning, we had received no communication from Tui our travel agency. My husband leaves immediately to the agency. He comes back with great news - we are booked for an afternoon flight from Charleroi! Hop, close the suitcases, prepare another set of sandwiches and we are on our way to the airport. Parking the car, taking the airport bus and we are in check-in desk on time. Only to learn thatthere is no flight from Charleroi going in the afternoon. We are speechless with my husband. Where is the hidden camera, this must be a joke! We have been lied now twice straight to the face. Hello humanity, how are we treating people? Fortunately we have our little angels attentive eyes looking up to us and we leave disappointed, but with elegance. On our way back home, I cheer up the tribu and start planning the week ahead, it will be the BEST holiday at home I promise (and it actually was). My husband leaves for grocery store and we unpack with the kids. In the evening we call the insurance company, the travel agency, the hotel, the car rental and try to understand if we will be re-imboursed, even partially. This seems unlikely, as “planned strike” is not force majeure (the information came the same morning!). We make a detailed plaint of our experience and close the case while still deeply puzzled at the events which life can throw so unexpectedly.

London!

With the Brexit looming and the pound down we decided to offer ourselves an autumn weekend break in the capital. Kids were so excited with the idea of taking Eurostar under the channel, so were we! We had booked tickets and accommodation in early summer, which gave plenty of time to plan and prepare the visits and raise ‘momentum’ with the kids. Our friends thought we are out of our minds for adventuring a city trip with four small kids.

Perhaps not surprisingly, the trip did start with a farce. Our trip planning didn’t take into account the manifestations in our capital and getting through the city became an adrenaline filled race against traffic and time. I was brainstorming for alternative ‘make-up’ scenario of the weekend for our kids, in case we would not make it. We received a royal welcome at the gate as our cavalcade arrived to the channel check-in. We sat down on our seats 5 minutes before the departure. I wanted to enjoy a glass of shampagne, but settled with dark chocolate.

2 hours later, London welcomed us with sun shining through the bustling traffic as Londoners were hasting to start their weekend. OuOur hotel had received super reviews about location and cleanliness and those were indeed the only items worth mentioning about the place. The ‘hotel’ was a shabby townhouse with a ‘reception’ area of 2 square meters, dusty carpets, squeeky floors making us feel sea sick. It took us 7 doors in a narrow corridor (yey, with the pushchair, two luggages and 4 kids) and two floors up before we arrived to our ‘family room with shared bathroom’. This turned out to be two individual rooms in different floors with no toilets or bathrooms in either of the rooms - but access to the shared toilet and shower with all the hotel guests! A sad example of how images, reviews, hotel info can be misleading. Obviously, we didn’t let this spoil our long waited weekend and run through our program holding head high!

The TOPs

Museums are FREE of charge! Must-see with or without kids: Natural Science museum ( NB dinosaurs, but also section about human biology, our 8 and 5 year olds loved it), Science Museum, V&A museum. All these three museum are next to one another in Kensington (Piccadilly line, metro stop South Kensington). Everything so elegant here.

Southbank walk! The classic walk from Westminster and Big Ben crossing to Southbank passing London eye towards London Bridge..Although crowded, it was lovely, sunny walk vibrating positive energy, music, delicious food, filling all senses..I could gladly make this a Saturday ritual.

The parks! Kensington, St. James, Hyde park..havens of peace in the middle of the city. They are truly beautiful and definitely worth more than passing through.

Just seeing the amount of culture pouring from every corner made me drool. We solemnly promised to each other with my husband to return here soon -with our babysitter..

The everlasting present

“In stead of seeking to extend our physical existence by years, we should focus on intensifying our current moments by living them at the fullest (which will make time seem longer)”. This is the statement of a recent article I read. With our four stars between 0 and 8 years I feel we could not be living more intensively and the days seem eternal (and amazing).

Sunday morning 6:30. I wake up and realise house is silent. Yoga time. I sneak downstairs, carefully selecting the steps not to make noise and ruin my master plan. Yes, made it downstairs. Quietly, I roll out my mat and start my yoga routine. 7 minutes later, half-way into the Sun salutations I hear little Nemo fish taking out his pampers upstairs “ Mama, pipi!”. Hop, off we go. He is really cute in his swimming fish costume I could take a bite. He proudly presents his bed is not wet and reminds me he is a nice boy and moms friend (wow, he is really a morning person). Soon her sisters are up, thrilled when remembering it is not a school morning, but Netflix morning, YEY!! Starts the negotiation of program, difficult task for 3, 5 and 8 year olds. It is eldest ones turn and diplomatically she chooses a dog show - no need to close little ones eyes. I finish my salutations. Apart from Netflix morning it is a Mysli morning - party time! The kids organises themselves the breakfast and settle enjoying their muesli in silence, nobody is claiming for apple sauce or extra raisins. Nobody is breaking a glass or peeing in their pants. An incredible, incredible morning, I cannot believe it. I feel successful. I press myself a lemon tea and sit down enjoying it with the kids. We watch outside, enjoy the garden and pouring rain. It is windy. Nemo boy worries if the birds will get hurt in the wind. Eldest one assures their are protected by the trees. “Will they feel cold?”” No, birds have feathers.” We human have  hairs.” We all watch ours hairs.

Baby wakes up. She is adorable baby, but already at 5 months, one can tell she is not a morning person. I go upstairs to feed her. She is disappointed and claims something else. I prepare the bottle. Probiotics are finished, zut. I reminds kids take their vitamins. 5 year old needs closeness and comes to hug the baby. She wants to hold her. She notices how nice the baby smells. Her hair has started to grow as well - indeed! Nemo boy wants company in building a Lego garage. Fortunately mom has delegates and sisters go in. I go upstairs to take my shower. I get company. 5 year old empties my makeup bag and finds red lipstick and nail polish. I know she wants to do it and knows my answer. We don’t have a program for the morning and I surprise her - she can’t believe her ears when I propose to do the ‘complete thing’, eldest one comes in and I give the crash curse on make-up. I add the next time they can do it is when they are 18. They are so happy. They look so pretty.

It is still pouring, but we need to get fresh air. Good timing to test the new rain gear. 20 minutes in preparation to find hats, scarfs, rain coats, boots. Nemo boy wants to take the Lego train constellation for a walk. Not possible. With tears he settles to take one car, which fits to his bike basket. Shoes. Where are the Porsche shoes, everything needs to be porche for the little man. He has invented a whole collection of porche sun glasses, porche carrots to porche microscope (..).  Eldest one is not keen to go, she claims this is a day to take a hot chocolate and sit a planket around in front of the fire place. Not A bad idea at all.

We settle for hot soup and pancakes though. Nemo boy goes for siesta and it is time for ‘girl things’. We give the baby a bath, girls are a bit jealous on her new pyjamas. We read a book about threatened animals. We bake a chocolate cake for friends who are coming for visit in the afternoon. Girls are enthusiastic cooks given they get to lick the bowl. Generously they give mom the chocolate spoon. Eldest one remembers she has to practice for a show at school. She sets the s-box and starts dancing. She is relentless, she has set herself the objective of learning the choreography by heart by Friday. Over and over again she dances the 4,5 minute piece. Little sister is watching and encouraging, how many stars she wins, will she get 3! She is relentless and I am impressed by her perseverance.

Our guests arrive, a happy reunion after many years. A rainy day at home, full of little and bigger events, sharing, emotions. I feel blessed.

The unpredictable future

I gave birth to our youngest daughter in the early hours of April 2018. The previous night had been long with a few complications during the birth. I cannot quite believe I actually hold my little girl in my arms. The epidural is wearing off and I am distracting myself by watching the Finnish news while giving the baby her feed. 

A Dutch professor claims we have 25 years to find a concrete solution to manage the global plastic problem or it is "too late" - we will enter what is called "irreversible" stage of climate change. I look at little Eva and wonder what kind of world will she be inheriting.

I read about AI and personal computers with 'consciousness' being developed in the next 25 to 50 years. According to experts AI development will develop exponentially, it is happening as we speak. The first trials of introducing robots in the Finnish education system. Students introduced meet humanoid robot Elias. Teacher is thrilled. So  far she has been able to contribute to Eliase's content programming. Students are amused and impressed of his language skills. They find it brings variety to the teaching vs. reading from books. Apparently it also follows orders more easily than the teacher - not for long. How about compared to the teacher's teaching?

In the waves of MeToo phenomenon magazines are full of women empowering articles. Feminist movement is thriving. How would women leaders change the game? Equipped with less competitiveness and ego-centrism, and more compassion and inclusiveness? More ethical decisions putting the society in front of personal gains. It can't go wrong.

I read about Tesla's goal to make space travel main stream and start a new civilization in the space. Some consider him crazy, some futuristic, anyways visionary. I think about my 5 year old at home. She is intrigued by space, has been asking daily about when are we going to "fly to the paradise"? The rational me of course thought she meant our last holiday destination. She looks at me with bright blue eyes and partly frustrated at my silly comment replies: "no mom, fly to the other planets of course!" Some days ago she described me in detail the 'flying suit' she had just  developed to be able to fly. I am speechless. I sense our kids are much more in tune with the future. I am more concerned if we parents are adapting to the change quickly enough, making the right choices for our children as for education to keep up with the industrial revolution and most importantly, the attitude, skills and strategies to thrive in the unpredictable future. 

The nurse comes in and I expect her to come empathize with me the labor and how we have managed the first hours together with the baby. Instead, she asks me if I have heard about 'early return to home', this means the next day. I am speechless.  I had prepared to have a few more nights of sleep before returning home to look after the rest of the family. With my previous births I had stayed 4-5 nights at the hospital. I receive a long look from the nurse, this is obviously not an option. Thank you goes to the piece of Belgian legislation introduced in 2015 reducing days of hospitalization first from 4-3 days into 2 days in 2016. Times have changed.